“I DON’T GO BY THE RULE BOOK, I LEAD BY THE HEART, NOT THE HEAD” – PRINCESS DIANA –
What if you could release the expectations, you put on yourself and other people? Imagine how freeing this would be with a massive weight off your shoulders, right? Well you can and here is a simple formula on how to let go of expectations of others or within yourself.
Expectations = Your Values
When we don’t share the same values as others in our lives, we can get caught up in an expectations war zone. You might find that conflict is caused simply because someone didn’t meet your own expectation. We can get caught up in things like not feeling supported or understood by our partner, family or friends. Then we can quickly feel hurt because the outcome of whatever the situation is wasn’t what we ‘expected’. What if we could instead release expectations and let ourselves and other’s off the hook? Letting go of expectations of yourself and others is about understanding what you value most and obeying your values and belief system. It’s simple your values are your internal GPS, your life guide and we can become frustrated when we don’t share the same values as others, which generally leads to what we expect of them.
In her book, ‘Letting Go of Expectations’ Dr Andrea Wilson, PH.D says “you can expect the best for yourself and life, you can expect that your belief system will back you, you can expect change, progress, growth and development for yourself, nevertheless placing all these expectations on others may only lead to disappointment if and when they don’t deliver to your every need” I had a friend who I realise now did not share my values and for years of our friendship I had this great expectation of them. We would agrue when mine or their expectations weren’t met. I found myself always becoming irritated or annoyed with this person because they wouldn’t do things the way i would, or would let me down. Needless to say that long-term friendship frizzled over a few years of constantly arguing within myself and with them. Now I understand we simply didn’t share the same values, belief system and that caused major conflict and aganst in our friendship. Not long after this friendship fall out I started my own wellness journey and part of that was releasing expectations and aligning my values. I organically started detoxing anyone or anything that no longer served me in my life. It was simple things like no longer hanging out with people who I felt intoxicated me with their negativity or when I would over-commit myself and feel obligated to someone or be somewhere I really didn’t want to be.
“I organically started detoxing anyone or anything that no longer served me in my life.”
Now, I know better and I chose authenticity with peace instead of hitting the road of drama. I moved away from expectations to liberation. When I made the choice to release expectations of others, I empowered myself to rise above feeling the emotional pain. I stopped giving it ‘airtime’ in my mind, body and spirit, I stopped the self-talk and drama, by giving it all unnecessary and wasteful energy and I started to feel the peace, synchronicity and harmony in my own life because I had no expectations of others and I knew the people in my life who remained shared my values. Releasing expectations is about getting off the merry go round of emotional turmoil, which only leads to disappointment. When you truly release expectations of yourself and others you;
- Allow your energy to flow freely
- Open yourself up to endless possibilities
- Reap the rewards of emotional freedom
- Hold your personal power and respect yourself
- Free your time which gives you more energy
- Clear mental air time for more creativity and productivity
- Stress less and care less of others opinions and behaviours
- Have peace mentally, emotionally and in turn become physically healthy
- Are authentic to yourself by following your internal compass
- Can hold healthier relationships with people because you have less expectations
- Liberate yourself from emotional pain and are able to experience pleasure
- Become more present and can practice gratitude
- Have more time for love and less time for drama
- Free your time for more enjoyable things like, exercise, time with family, enjoy your work
Align yourself with people who value you and value your belief system and most importantly who’s actions are always with love not expectations… Until next time, Stay Happy & Healthy.