For many years, I struggled with trusting myself with decision making and being true to myself authentically. Often I found that when things felt like they we’re just starting to go right, I would some how sabotage myself and then things would turn sour again.
For many year’s, I battled with being indecisive, unsure of myself and always living in some sort of fear.
I found myself in the same predicaments, it was like dating different people but noticing that I was attracting the same kind of traits in a partner that I promised myself I would try to avoid and before I knew it I was learning the same lesson again or hanging out with the same people I knew were toxic for me and constantly repeating patterns of self-sabotage. In recent years, I wanted to trust myself so deeply that I put in place a strategy and that was to write a bucket list.
I remember I allowed myself to become ‘vulnerable’ not to be mistaken for ‘weakness’ as being vulnerable is all about trusting yourself and I believe that this is called ‘Courage’. When I started to write my list, I consciously decided to block out everything I thought was expected of me by my parents, family, friends and work colleagues.
As I quietly wrote in my journal on a sunny Saturday afternoon, my pages started to fill with my deepest desires, wants and needs. I started listing places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do with my life, and for the first time I felt free and trusting in myself that my writings were coming from the heart. When I released all expectations of myself and others I opened up a path way of inner direction, truth and love for myself I only ever imagined.
When you trust and are authentic to yourself, you release all expectations or judgements of yourself and you start to listen to your purpose, when you listen to your purpose you activate your internal GPS for your life path and direction. When you have a high sense of self you;
- are authentic by serving your ‘WHY’- your purpose in life
- have more energy and time for things and people that are scared to you
- build yourself-esteem and start by expressing yourself however you choose
- start to listen to that voice inside you that knows what you need and take the chance
- are more loving and respect yourself and people around you, leading to deeper and meaningful connections
- release shame, guilt and judgement from yourself and others
- deeply are more connected with your emotions, are self-aware of vulnerabilities and can control those feelings with calm and ease
- are healthy, your immune system is kept happy and you stop emotionally eating, you become more aware of your body and its movement
- are true to your own wants and needs
- are free of illness, disease, judgement and critics of yourself and others
- are simply able to trust yourself and that you are exactly where you need to be exactly at that time, for all the right reasons.
Until then stay happy + healthy.. Love Sonia XO